Absence

Well, Justin left on Tuesday morning for a couple of months training stateside, followed by a ten-month deployment overseas. Le sigh. The house feels empty - even with a dog and a fish and five houseplants and many boxes yet to be unpacked.

I've known about this deployment for as long as we've been dating, as his battery received notice of the possibility two years ago. Our two-year dating anniversary is on the 24th. So I've always known he might go. And it sucked, but I got used to it being a vague thing, somewhere in the future.

Then, the planned deployment date forced us to change our wedding date and that sucked. But, we got over and through that hiccup and the deployment still seemed like just a thing, over there somewhere, not HERE.

But now he's gone. It's weird. I know I'll get more used to it as we go, but it's startling right now. He's not here to greet me when I get home from work. He's not here to pour coffee into my travel mug in the morning and send me out the door with a kiss. He's not here to help manage the crazy dog. ;)

I've always been fairly independent and I lived alone for many years. I'm sure I'll be able to handle the alone-ness of it all better than some, but I keep thinking that this is more temporary than it is. He's been away for a week or more before with army stuff - he'll be home soon, I can't help thinking. Of course, he won't be, but my body/brain/heart keeps expecting him there to fill the empty space on the couch, in the car, at the table, in the bed. It's weird.