Dear God, don't let us be "That Couple"

Both of these comics pretty much encapsulate how The Boy & I think about our relationship-based interactions in public:

(from xkcd)

(from Questionable Content)

I swore I wouldn't gush too much . . .

But . . . today's texted sweet nothings? Were in Latin.

Is he perfect for me or what?

Halloween, Part II

The Boy & I went to a costume/birthday party of a friend of his in Boston on Saturday night. We played the parts of a 1920s-era gangster & his moll. Good times, good times . . .

Him, Finally

Hmmm. I've been mulling this over for weeks & I'm still not sure how to write about the new boyfriend. In the past, I know I've written a bit too much about boyfriends & probably annoyed some of my readers. He also reads the blog occasionally, so he'll definitely read whatever I write.

However, he knows how I feel about him, so it's not that big of a deal. And he posts on a message board & wrote about me weeks ago, just after our first "pseudo-date." So. I'll be brief, but schmoopy. :)

He's tall. He's handsome. He's smart, funny, nerdy, and sweet. He understands how completely weird I am & loves it. We spend nearly all of our time together, while guiltily acknowledging how annoying that must be for other people.

I left him this morning at 10:30am. He'll be here in ten minutes. And I can't wait. :)

Promises, promises . . .

IOU both a weekend update w/ pictures & more details about the new boyfriend. However, I owe a session presentation to a conference tomorrow & two papers to my professor on Monday. :(

So in the meantime, you're going to get linkety-links. They're web comics that the new bf introduced me to, so it's kind of like getting to know more about him?

Enjoy!

• Pictures for Sad Children

• Kate Beaton (I particularly love this one because she devotes a section to her youth in the Canadian Maritimes. Fishing & genetic alcoholism - whee!)

Item:

New boyfriends are pretty cool, especially nerdy ones who share your interests. Then, you can nerd out together. Case in point: the new bf & I spend a few minutes each day showing each other funny web comics. It's ok - you can judge us for that one. ;)

(Peeking fearfully around corners)

You guys, I think I might be a closet pessimist. Whenever things are going really well, I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop.
It's a fairly recent condition, stemming from the spring of 2007. Things were going really well then, too: my then-boyfriend & I had recently come back from Scotland (where we said those words for the first time), I had just been accepted into graduate school (with a full ride to boot) and life was free 'n easy. Then May, and its accompanying shitstorm, hit. Nick broke up with me and my grandmother died after a painful illness. Talk about a big shoe, huh?

Now, here's what's going well in my life:

• classes
• work - both jobs
• internship
• family
• living situation
• car
• love life
• friends
• Red Sox

Here's what not going well:

• deciding where to eat for my birthday dinner

Therefore, I am a little nervous these days. I keep expecting locusts, rivers of fire, pestilence & despair dropping from on high. I wonder how to get over/around this . . .

To all the boys who don't call you back:

Haha, love this. Am not having that problem at the moment, but it's so fitting for boys who drop off the face of the earth.

It reminds me of the message Harry leaves on Sally's machine when they're fighting (in "When Harry met Sally," obviously).

"If you're there please pick up the phone, I really want to talk to you. The fact that you're not answering leads me to believe that you're a) not at home, b) home, but don't want to talk to me, or c) home, desperately want to talk to me, but trapped under something heavy. If it's either a) or c) call me back."

Thursday Night Detritus

I miss being in love. There, I said it. It's one of those things that young, independent, single women like myself aren't supposed to say, or even think. But there it is.

I stood at the bar tonight & listened to a very dear friend recount the "talk" that she & her now boyfriend (as a result of that talk) had yesterday. I was so happy for her, but the story lit a spark that fanned a flame that is now consuming me (all for the want of a horseshoe nail, right?).

What I have is this:

• a nice guy who thinks I'm "awesome," but can't commit to more than casual dating 
• a great guy who I've treated casually for a few months now. Now, however, I think I really like him & can't figure out how to communicate that. 

That's all. What I have isn't bad, but it's not much.

And I want more. I know it's silly to pine for love & "it will happen when you least expect it." That's all well & good, but what do you do when you're staring out at the lights along the river & wishing fervently that you had someone special with whom to share it?

Out with the Old, In with the New

I had a moment of awesomeness yesterday, wherein the new love interest sarcastically quoted the old love interest with perfect comic timing & reduced me to a giggling mess.

And don't feel bad for the old love interest - the quote in question was one in which he was putting me down to a mutual friend, behind my back.

As you were. ;)

Mr. Right vs. Mr. Right Now

(Warning - I got a little "1am rambly" and this post ended up much longer than I anticipated. Might want to get yourself a cup of coffee if you decide to stay for the duration.)

I've been thinking lately of what qualities "My Dream Man" might have. Much of this is because I wrote a paper last night & this morning about The Places in Between, by Rory Stewart. I read this book back in September and dredged it up again for this paper. And, truth be told, I'm really half in love with Stewart. Even my Facebook status says, "Stacey is really half in love with Rory Stewart," so you know I'm not lying to you now. ;)

The point is that I secretly (on the internet) half-love this man because he is many things that are important to me. He is thoughtful, intelligent, funny, well-spoken, and he also gets out there & does things. He walked across Iran, Afghanistan, India, Pakistan, and Nepal, for goodness sake!

At the beginning of last summer, I blogged about my "summer boyfriends." The first "boyfriend" was the entire '07 Red Sox roster & we know how well that turned out. ;)

The second two were historians & TV show hosts, Dan Snow and Josh Bernstein. These two lads remind me a lot of Rory Stewart, actually. They are handsome, intelligent, self-possessed, and immersed in the study & interpretation of history as a career. Is it any wonder that I think they're the bee's knees?

Which brings me to my current dating life, where I like both of the contenders, but don't necessarily think either of them are the aforementioned bee's knees. D.B. (who still needs a better nickname) and Sports Center are both nice, funny, sweet guys. They are both clearly interested in me, despite obstacles like long distances between us.

However, I don't find myself thinking, daydreaming, smiling to myself about either of them. And I'm a goofy romantic at heart, kids. I like, want, need all of that thinking, daydreaming, smiling to myself about my mate.

Further, I keep thinking about something that a happily married friend of mine said recently: "Don't underestimate your market value. You're smart, pretty, and funny - you need to find someone who's a good match for all of that." And without being a total egomaniac, I know this. I know that I'm attractive, funny (at least to myself!), smart, and fun to be around. I'm the kind of girl that a guy can be proud to introduce to both his mother & his drinking buddies. I don't think it's unreasonable to expect the same in a boyfriend.

Am I being too picky? Maybe. Probably. All the same, though, who am I to decide at the tender age of 26 that my dream man isn't out there? Some Saturday night, I could turn around from ordering an oatmeal stout @ the Brewery or a cask-conditioned Old Thumper @ the Coat and there he'll be - tall, handsome, with mischief in his eyes & a pint of good beer in his hand. Hey, it could happen. ;)

Long Overdue Dating Update

I know, this has taken me forever to get to. I looked back & realized that I promised to write about my dating life back on February 27th. Not that I really thought that any of you were on the edge of your seats. ;) Anyways, here's the current update (complete with new nicknames!):

Who's Out:
The Pilot (finally): He's been persistent since we first met @ the end of October, but I finally realized last week that he's only interested in trying to hook up w/ me, not being a valid contender for the role of boyfriend.
The Mechanic: Pretty much his choice, but fine w/ me. He had told me he wasn't ready for exclusivity, anyway. "Gun-shy" was the phrase he used, I believe. Of course, I heard from the GSBB's brother that he's dating some girl in Maine, so guess he got over it. ;)
The "Long Distance Crush": Meh. The initial attraction, fanned into a crush through Facebook & a couple of consecutive parties, has faded. I think much of it had to do with the fact that he seemed such a lovely combination of a scholar & an outdoorsy guy. That's a knockout combo for me. :)
Navy Guy: Two dates, both of which went ok. However, at the end of the most recent date, I realized we're two very different people, with different outlooks on life. Like, for example, I don't call gay people "queers." (pause for effect) Yeah, I was pretty outraged, too. Bye-bye, Navy Guy!

Who's In:
D.B.(who needs a better nickname): Met him @ the beginning of the month. He's a friend of a friend (Married Art Teacher). Only 1 official date thus far, but it was fun & it scored me an invite to his 30th birthday party last Saturday. Things seems good thus far. I'm not drooling over him, but he's really funny & charming and finds me hilarious. Who can argue with that?
Sports Center: Remember the old friend from college who I "sparked" with on that weekend @ the Cape? Well, he made a business trip to Portsmouth last week & we had dinner @ MoJo's BBQ, then drinks @ the Brewery. It was a really fun night & we're just so damn comfortable with each other, having been friends for eight years. :) However, he lives in Burlington, VT, so I'm not sure where things are going to go from here. Stay tuned.
Super Trooper: Another friend of a friend (the GSBB). We actually met back in November & got along well, but he had a girlfriend @ the time. They broke up in January & he's been hinting to the GSBB & her friend that he's interested in me. We saw each other a few weeks ago, exchanged numbers, texted like crazy, and were supposed to have dinner last week. However, he bailed because he was hungover from St. Patty's. While I'm not that mad about it (it's St. Patty's Day! In New England!), I'm leaving it up to him to contact me to schedule the rain date. ;)

And finally, the "Oy Vey" category:"
The Ex: I know - why is he here? Caity & Eileen already know this, but I saw him in Southie during the St. Patty's parade. After meeting up with him & his friends when my college friends bailed on me (thanks, guys!), I ended up walking him home because he was pretty drunk. One thing led to another & we may have kissed. No worries, though - we're not getting back together. I'm not really sure why it happened, but I know that much.

I love that I'm ending on that awkward note. ;) Night, all!

Singing in the Rain

OK, snow, but that's just a detail.

For some reason, I'm ebullient tonight. Actually, there are a number of reasons for it. Which I will now list. So there. (You guys don't come here expecting insightful social commentary or anything, do you?) ;)

• This weekend, I'm hosting a Leap Year party (at a bar, not my place) on Friday night & attending an Around the World party on Saturday. Who said you have to work hard in grad school? I kid, I kid.
  
• I ordered a new Red Sox sweatshirt for the '08 season & it came in the mail on Monday. I don't think I've spent a night home without it on & I wore to class on Tuesday.
  
• My nephews continue to be cute & wonderful & I love seeing them once a week.
  
• My dating life is too confusing to parse right now (plus, I only have nicknames for two of the five thus far), but it's generally good & I'm clearly doing something right this winter. ;)
  
• In my research seminar today, the professor chastised everyone for poor work on a recent essay. She then said the highest grade was an A-. Guess what I (and another friend) got? It was particularly great b/c I'm pretty intimidated by this professor & her notes said my writing was "excellent."
  
• It looks like I'll be spending spring break either relaxing & attending a few St. Patty's Day parties or . . . in Puerto Rico!
  
• My friend Kate made a mix CD a few years ago, called "Beautiful & Funny & Sad & True," after a line in The Girls' Guide to Hunting & Fishing. I've been listening to the last song, the love song medley from Moulin Rouge (the elephant scene), on repeat. As Kate points out in her liner notes, "this is love at its silliest, most dramatic, and most surreal." Yet, it makes me believe in love again. And considering my bad luck with it in the past, that's saying something. :)
  

Weekend Recap

Haven't done one of these in awhile . . .

Friday: Up at 6:20am (!!!) to drive down to Hometown & help my sister with the boys. This is going to be a regular thing, at least until my sister goes back to work. While the timing is a bit early for this late sleeper, I'm really looking forward to spending all that time with my sister & my nephews.

At night, I came home to Portsmouth & went out with the GSBB and her friend (who, awkwardly, happens to be The Mechanic's older sister). We met up with some Navy guys, one of whom the MOS is dating. One of them was nice (& tall - 6'6"!) and we chatted most of the night. He wanted my number and to see me again, but I didn't feel comfortable with that, especially not in front of the MOS. I did take his number, though, and told him "maybe I'd call, once I know where things stand" with The Mechanic.

Saturday: Did some work during the day - finding articles for class, filling out my FAFSA, etc. Went out to dinner with another grad school friend (let's call her Philly Girl). Afterwards, we went back to my place to get ready for a party. Some of the grad students had rented out the basement of a Campus Town bar. I went into it knowing like 2 people and met a bunch of new people. They all seemed nice & fun. The only awkwardness was seeing The Accountant, since he runs with that crowd. Wasn't too bad, though. Got home at 3:30am, because some of us finished the night at someone's house watching SNL's "Best of Tracy Morgan." Remember "Brian Fellow"? ;)

Sunday: Slept late, then headed up to the library in the afternoon. Read three of the four articles that I needed to, which was great. Was about to head home when I noticed three missed calls from one of my high school best friends, The Artist. I called her back as soon as I walked out of the library - turns out she & her live-in boyfriend were on the way home from Portland & stopped in Portsmouth for a bathroom break. We decided they should stay with me for the night & hang out. We went out for dinner at the Brewery, martinis at the Red Door, and pints at the Press Room.

Whew! Busy weekend. The Pilot wanted me to meet him for a beer tonight, but I was too bushed from all that going out. He called me an old lady & maybe I am. ;)

P.S. This entry was ridiculously nickname-heavy and for that, I apologize. ;)

Happy V-day!

Just a quick note before I head off to bed (up early in the morning to babysit the nephews). Hope all of you who care had a nice Valentine's Day!

It went by without much notice for me this year (in contrast to last year). I got a text from The Pilot (who, to his credit, was away on a ski trip) around 7:30pm & a phone call from The Mechanic (who was @ a poker tournament) around 11. Despite sweet sentiments from both of them, neither one has convinced me that they are boyfriend material. I'm getting a little tired of the ambiguity, you guys. ;)

Oh well. Hope you enjoy this photo of the Heart of Midlothian (Edinburgh) that I took last spring and this blog post that I really like: Loving Love Actually. Good night!

Quick Update

As I mentioned to Susie in the comments of my last post, last night ended up far from relaxing. It's my fault for assuming it could be, I guess. ;)

I started off by meeting one section of the graduate school group at the Coat of Arms. That part was great: I love this pub & haven't been often, I had some good chats with some of the girls, I met some new people, etc.

Around 11:30, that group was heading home & my presence was requested at The Knot. Off I went & found a parking spot right in front of the bar! However, it was packed b/c the roommate of one of the guys in our group was playing that night. I actually had to wait outside for about 5-10 minutes before I could get in. In New Hampshire!!!

Anyway, once I got in, there were good & bad things. I met a few new people & had some fun. However, The Accountant, who said he wasn't going, was there. I'm not going to get into too many details, since I link the blog to my Facebook account & I know some of the people in this group are on Facebook. However, in a nutshell, I found out that the man who said he wasn't ready to date asked my friend to the movies. Grrr.

So. New resolution for the month of December: no dates & no drama. None. I'm going to ask The Bouncer if he minds giving me some space right now. For the next three weeks, my only activities will be writing my final papers, working at my part-time job, and doing all of my Christmas errands (shopping, card-sending, decorating, etc.).

From 4 to 1

Oy vey. I'm starving & about to make dinner, so I'm keeping this short. It's been quite the week, you guys. Here's where we stand with the boys:

1. The Accountant: After the quickest "first date to big-time crush" I've ever experienced, we're no longer dating. What? I know. Basically, he came over last night to sadly tell me that he had thought he was ready to move on from his recent break-up, but realized he's just not. Naturally, it sucks, but it was a major concern of mine, too. I'm glad he realized & let me know before we had been dating longer. And, because I'm an eternal optimist, who knows what might happen down the road? I think we'll stay in touch (we have a lot of mutual friends) and when he's ready to date again, hopefully I'll be around.
2. The Bouncer: Had our first date last night (about an hour after The Accountant left - it was horrible timing, but I couldn't bail on him). We had a nice time, found some common interests, and closed down the Brewery. Definite potential here, but I'm still sad over The Accountant & trying not to let that affect this.
   
3. The Pilot: We chatted on the phone Tuesday night & he was v. friendly & casual, asking me to "keep [him] updated on all these boys I'm dating." So I figure we're good as just friends, right? Wrong, evidently. While I was on my date with The Bouncer, he texted to see how I was & upon hearing I was on a date, he said, "You stoppin' by my place later?" Um - whaaa? I wrote back: "No, dear. I think it's best to avoid something like that."
4. Former Army Guy: After breaking things off with him, I ended up bailing on our Tuesday night plans (which were, in essence, me driving thirty minutes to a place I'd never been to meet a boy I didn't like). He was ok with my excuse (not feeling well & lots of work to do), but then wanted to see me both Thursday night & Sunday for the Pats game. Huh? Didn't I break it off with him the night before? I begged off, but hope he's not going to make a habit of this.

So, long story short: I'm down to one guy, but my love life still feels confusing, stressful, and keeps taking my mind off important things like my final papers. Ugh. As for tonight, I'm off to make a quick dinner, do a little reading, and then meet some graduate school friends at The Knot for a relaxing drink or two. Have a nice night! :)

Squash Ladder/Footrace

As I mentioned the other day, I've somehow ended up juggling four men this month. Trust me when I say that this has never happened to me before & I'm not sure I can handle it. I'm usually a one-man kind of girl, but somehow I've met four interesting men in one month.

In direct imitation of Londongirl, I've decided to instate something like her squash ladder. However, I can't remember all of the rules & I ran track for a decade, so I'm going to style it more like a footrace. And in answer to your obvious question, no, I haven't identified what the "finish line" is & yes, you should get your mind out of the gutter. ;)

So, here we go. For convenience & privacy, their nicknames are their occupations.

1. The Accountant: Absolutely the front-runner. We've seen each other twice in the last few days, our first date lasted five lovely hours, and he continues to give me butterflies. I know - it's weird that an accountant gives me butterflies. ;) However, we've only known each other for about a week & he has a very recent break-up behind him, so I feel like I need to proceed with caution.
2. The Bouncer: Met him on a bad date with The Pilot a couple of weeks ago. We started chatting, realized we had a close mutual friend, he found me via her Myspace page, and we're going out Thursday night. We'll see how it goes.
   
3. The Pilot, a.k.a. Date #2 from a few weeks ago: Contrary to my first impression of him, this guy ended up nicer than I thought he'd be. However, he's still pretty immature (case in point: I mentioned my sister is married & he said "Eww.") and very cocky, so I think it's best to downgrade us to just friends.
   
4. Former Army Guy, a.k.a. Date #1 from the same night: I went out with him the following week, on what turned into a double date (my GSBB was out with a date @ the same restaurant, so we combined dates after our entrees & played trivia). However, I just never got that excited about him, nice guy though he is. I called him last night to tell him that I'm fine with being friends, but am not feeling a spark romantically.
   

It's not as useful a tool this week as it would have been last week, since I've already begun to cull the list. However, it's still useful in a way. My mother made an excellent point over the weekend. I tend to have a "damn the torpedoes - full steam ahead!" mentality with relationships. I get super excited about someone & that's it. I'm his, he's mine, and every other man in the world is out of my sight line.

While there's nothing wrong with doing that in a serious relationship (in fact, you absolutely should), it's risky to put all your eggs in a fairly new basket. As I mentioned, I think The Accountant is the bee's knees, but maybe going on a date or two with The Bouncer will help me temper my expectations a little. Wish me luck! ;)

Penultimate Day

Yeah, I used "penultimate" instead of second-to-last. What of it, sucka? ;)

Went out with kids from the history graduate department again tonight. This makes three nights this week I've grabbed a beer (or two) with other grad students. This is a good new habit of mine, I think. :) I like going out for a casual drink or two with friends who are just as poor as me.

For example, tonight my first beer was a $4 Unibroue Chambly Noire. It was lovely (malty & chocolatey & not too heavy, despite being a black ale), but my second & third beers were good ol' PBRs, $1 at the Barley Pub on Thursday nights.

Of course, I didn't pay for my second & third beers, so I guess that shoots down my theory a bit. However, it allows me to segue into who did pay for them, so whatevs. ;) At trivia the other night, there was a guy who was pretty cute, who knew some of my history grad buddies. However, we were on different teams for trivia & neither one of us paid much attention to the other.

Tonight, though, I did get to chat with him a fair amount & I think I am interested. :) Luckily, I think he is, too. He, another guy & I were the last ones to leave b/c we were talking so long, he bought me two beers, and he invited me to stop by the wine shop where he works for a wine tasting tomorrow afternoon. More to the point, my part-time job has public offerings of a certain kind and when I was telling him about them, he wanted to know which specific days I would be working them.

All of this is good, yes? Not that I particularly need another man to be thinking about - we're up to four now, by the way. However, I drove home grinning from ear to ear about this one. We'll see how things go . . .

Dating Again (again)

As I alluded last Sunday, I actually have somewhat of a dating life again. And as Susie shrewdly pointed out, it started with a bang - two dates on one night! I'd like to preface by saying that this was not intentional. ;) I had made dinner plans with one guy I'd met on Match.com. Then I'd been playing phone tag with another guy I met on Halloween & he invited me to watch Monday Night Football with him & a friend the same night.

The verdicts:

Date #1 was tall, funny, cute, and respectful. His degree is in history & he served in the army for two years after college. He's a little dorky, but hey, remember me? The graduate student in history? I can't afford to judge. We had a nice time & he's asked me to get together this weekend. I was planning a trip down to the Peabody Essex Museum tomorrow, so I've invited him along. Hopefully, he can make it!

Date #2 was tall, cute, funny, and incredibly cocky. Here's a perfect example: he's a pilot & he was joking around with his friend (a fellow pilot) about the big tips they receive for keeping quiet about male passengers who bring mistresses on board. I expressed some disgust at the practice & his response was, "Well, that money paid for the beer you're drinking now." !!! Thanks, but no thanks, Iceman.

I'll let you know how my date tomorrow goes. Even if it goes poorly, it's at a great museum. As I said to myself after one of the worst first dates ever (at the MFA in '04), at least I got to see some neat old stuff. ;)

UPDATE: The museum date isn't going to work out (he had previous plans with a friend & the timing didn't work out). However, we're going to make plans for later in the week.